I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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