she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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