i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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