i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
