respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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