Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
