I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
