Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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