At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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