i just had sex bonerless
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize