just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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