physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
