do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize