so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I currently don't understand fingers.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
