i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
