your room smells of hookers.
And success
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize