Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
