Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
