i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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