Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
