I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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