There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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