How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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