he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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