Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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