I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize