In the future we'll all be gay
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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