What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize