i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
