Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
