Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
