Will you blow on my dice?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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