I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
