North Korea, Best Korea!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
