Dude my mom stole all your condoms
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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