Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
