Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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