So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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