dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
