Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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