38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He did a backflip because drugs
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
