everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
