atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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