I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
