Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
