I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
