So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I said "one day" and that day is not today
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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