She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i think i have two assholes
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
