Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
