i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
