i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
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