If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I checked into jail on foursquare
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
