I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
