just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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