Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
