i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
