He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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