Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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