New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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