I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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