Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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