went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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