Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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