Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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